Sometimes I look back on my youth, mostly early twenties and wonder how the hell I did the things that I did. I remember for spring break in Spain I took a trip from Madrid to Paris, Paris to Berlin where I met up with my sister, then took a train from Berlin to Munich, Munich to Amsterdam and then back to Madrid. I never worried about the in between details of "how do I get from the airport to hostel" (Nice guys named Juanjo say "Yees, I know wher eet is, buht my companee ees paying me a taxi, and eef yoo want, I am can take you there" or the heroin addicts in Holland will get your train pass for you if you give them a couple Euros). Now as I get older, I get overwhelmed by the minutiae. The mountain of what is in front seems so massive that I'd rather go around to the smaller ones. It just seems so unbelievable how well everything worked out and how everything fell into place. I remember after my sister's wedding in Leipzig I was very hungover the next day and in the post apocalyptic hangover insanity I almost had a panic attack of the seemingly insurmountable things I would have to do in order to arrive home. Then I just took a breath, stepped back, and told myself "one thing at a time, put one foot in front of the other, and everything will be fine". It's weird how true the cliches are sometimes. I got home safely and pretty sure everything (dignity included) was intact.
My heroes and the people who I've met who are close to me are mostly people who took off and went. Meggs followed her heart to Oz for love. Carrie followed it to wherever it was snowing, Colin followed it to serve his country, and it was super dangerous where he was. So why can't I follow mine? What is it that holds me back? Where does the fear come from? I've never flat out failed with my traveling adventures. I've got the time and the money. I guess I should just get the ticket and go. See what happens. Piss away my savings there instead of here.
Hmmm..."And of course you can't become, if you say what you would've done, so I missed a million miles of fun...
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